Hello Everybody, and Welcome to Judy's House,
We can't choose our family, but we CAN choose our EXTENDED FAMILY! What a brilliant concept. After all, it's hard raising a family, whether it be one child or a baker's dozen of 'em. They keep turning up. Everywhere. All the time. Needing something, like food, clean clothes, hey, you know the deal.
So, with the concept that "it takes a village (and sometimes parts of Mexico and Canada) to raise a family", I have refined the "extended family structure" to suit my...uh, OUR needs. Why not apply the same unfair tactics many blood relatives use on each other? By "extending" these manipulative practices we can achieve our goals in less time and with FAR less discussion.....
THE NEIGHBOR WITH THE BIGGEST CAR WINS Need to set up a carpool for all the kids on the block? Pick on the "homemaker with the Hummer". Their car has the most room to accommodate not only the large number of children that need to go/be somewhere RIGHT NOW, but there's room to spare for all the various sports/crafts equipment that goes with them. If "Mr./Mrs. Hummer" seem upset about the plan, tell them how upset YOU ARE that they own such an "un-green" vehicle, and that they must pay the price of owning such a car by doing "community service" (to our community specifically). This is their way to "apologize" to our kids, our town, and our environment. Then, run away while they are still standing, dumbfounded, in their driveway.
GIVE THE "NEW MOMMY" A "NEW CAREER" Looking for a reliable local Day Care Center? Look no further than the mom that just came home from the hospital with her new-born bundle! Just drop all the toddlers off at her house. Hey, she has to stay at home anyway, right? And she's already baby-proofed! Tell the stunned new mom that the cost of diapers is rising, Rising, RISING (along with college costs) so it's a great plan for her to start saving NOW. Encourage her to accept "plastic", so parents can simply drive by, drop, swipe and GO!
THE OLDEST PARENTS ON THE BLOCK GET A FREE PASS How can we teach our children to "respect our elders" when we ignore our own? We need to set an example by treating the "older couple" on the block like gold! After all, they have successfully diapered and carpooled and are now POOPED. Someday, YOU will be old and tired and WHY SHOULDN'T I GET A BREAK for once, huh?
Set these basic principles in motion today. Watch how easy my...uh, I mean YOUR life will become. Oh, It's time for my nap. When I awake refreshed, I'll drop by with cookies for all those "Busy Bees" on the block. "Why Judy, you don't have to do that!" I hear you exclaim. I know, I know. But, what can I do? I'm a giver.
All the best to all of you,