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Judy's House

Judy's House

Ah, to be young again.  The memories of my youth come flowing back like a flash flood after a hard rain.  Remember those "care-free" days of childhood?

The year is 1973.  It took me three hours to get ready for school today.  I had to blow-dry my hair poker-straight, and then set it with my Kindness instant hair setter.   I was able to achieve that Farrah Fawcettishness!  How cool is that!  My makeup is that perfect balance of powder blue shadowed eyes and chalky pink lip-gloss!  Oh my god, the hair and makeup never work on the SAME day!  Cool, cool, cool!  My white polyester body suit fits like a second skin and looks great on me (provided I don't exhale or eat all day) and really shows off the waaaaay cool pair of plush bottom elephant pants (with FIVE SNAPS, not three) that I babysat for two whole weeks to afford.  My pants are exxxtra long and drag along the ground, so you can barely see my oh-so-cool pair of Converse tennis shoes that just peek out from under them.  (So WHAT if no one else knows their genuine Converse.  I KNOW, and that adds to my inner-coolness).  Wow, I'm cool.   I'm soooooooo cool.  No-one looks as cool as I do this spring day in my Eighth grade year in middle school!

Bob Rizzo, (my first boyfriend EVER) is waiting for me at the bottom of the main staircase in the main hall.  We will then walk down the hall TOGETHER on the way to our next class.  I feel like Scarlet O'Hara as I begin my descent down the stairwell.  My plan is to cascade effortlessly down the stairs while my feet barely touch each step.  My COOL look and demeanor will impress Bob so much that he'll ask me to marry him the minute I join him on the first floor!

What I do not realize until that moment is that the circumference of my tennis shoes exactly matches the measurement of the opening of my pant-leg.  What does this mean?  It means that BOTH cool shoes get stuck within the extra-long legs of my cool pants simultaneously.  It means that rather than "cascade", I "roll" down the entire flight of stairs, gaining momentum as I go, with my books and other students bouncing about me.  I land squarely on my behind with a shocked and bewildered look on my face.  My boyfriend is nowhere to be seen (it turns out Bob has run down the hall so that I won't see how hard he is laughing) and I struggle to my feet, pry my shoes free from my pants, and hobble off to my cooking class.

Ah, yes. Those "care-free" days of youth.  Remember them?  Yep.  Neither do I.

All the best to all of you(th),


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