red line
   Back to Archives
   Back to IF Home

Judy's House

Hello Everybody, and Welcome to Judy's House.

Death is not funny. Not normally at least. There are the few unbelievably ridiculous deaths that occur from a runaway steam roller, but not usually. Normally, death is just not funny.

Yet, for some reason when we are talking to the bereaved family and friends of a loved one who has passed away, a strange phenomenon occurs. The most absurd, ridiculous and stupid comments fall seemingly effortlessly from our lips.

Why? Because we are uncomfortable and don't know what to say. So, we say anything and everything that comes to mind. But here’s the thing, don’t. It makes death for the family much more uncomfortable if you say things, like, “Well, he finally got outta that recliner!” The following is a list of WHAT NOT TO SAY AT A FUNERAL: (feel free to add on to it if you so choose)

"You poor thing. I hope you're gonna be able to keep the house!"

"So was it the smoking or the drinking that caught up with him?"

"She never looked better. No, really, she never looked better."

"You can forget about that 50 bucks I lent him. Consider it a gift."

"So, THAT’S who borrowed my dress!"

Horrible, Isn't it? Which has led me to the decision that I refuse to die. It's too hard for the living to handle. After all, they're the ones that have to tolerate these remarks, while still trying to process their own grief. So, I'm not going anywhere. At least not anytime soon. And, why don't you stay around for awhile longer while we're at it? I'd miss you more than you could know.

Here's to a happy, healthy, and loooooonnnnggggg life ahead of all of us,


white divider