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Judy's House


Hello Everybody, and Welcome to Judy's House.

My family is obsessed with death. My son wants to have a "family plot" in the backyard.  I found my daughter lying on the dining room table, white as a ghost, with her hands folded across her chest.  My husband swears he is being chased by a hooded figure wielding a machete.

You guessed it. Once again, it's Halloween at the old homestead.

Halloween is different than when I was growing up.  All we did was put on a costume and go door to door with all our friends on the block, acquiring as much candy as we could fit into our "trick or treat" bags.

A stand out year in my "trick or treating career" was the Halloween I dressed up as a mummy.  I tore up an old bed sheet into strips and went to work.  In order to look as "mummy-like" as possible, I had to make some sacrifices.  One such sacrifice was being able to breathe.  I'd bandaged my face so that one could only see my eyes, and it was difficult to take in any air whatsoever.  But I looked darn good!  In addition, I'd wrapped my legs together. Most mummies don't get out of the crypt all that often, so it wouldn't be a problem for them, but I had to "walk" from house to house with my friends.  I refused to compromise my artistic vision! The result was one dizzy, sweaty mummy hopping along at a feverish pace, lagging behind all the witches, ghosts and goblins by a house or two the entire night.

About a half-hour into the evening it happened.  I went up to a neighbor's door, said "Trick or Treat" (which sounded more like"hmmmmmfffff" in muffled mummy), and then everything went black.

I regained consciousness on my neighbor's couch with my parents at my side.  My friends were sent ahead and took "candy donations" on my behalf, explaining what had happened to me at each house.

In addition to all the "TLC" from the neighbors and my folks, I marveled at the record amount of candy that I took in that year.

I also took home a new word that I added to my vocabulary, and that I still use to this day.  DELEGATE.  

I tell ya, whenever I use that word around the house; it scares my family half to death!

All the best to all of you (and have a death-defying Halloween, too!) 


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