Dear IF readers,

The topic of aging has inspired many readers. I received a message this evening that the reader was “touched” by the stories, and inspired. She thanked me for not preaching but gently telling a story or two, that made her think about her children and how she had cared for them, and how she felt strongly that the love they shared made her feel cared for as she got older. Brava, brava. How wonderful to hear.

The topic of aging has hit a nerve. Seniors want to feel valued and don’t and they are messaging this to me. Thank you for that. I myself am incensed by the undervalued seniors of this world. I personally prefer persons of a greater maturity in age and wisdom. My husband is 10 years older than me, and one time a friend of mine said, “If you hadn’t fallen in love with John, would you have married someone younger, more your age?” I remember not even thinking and said, “Oh sometimes I think I would have married older than John, for me beauty is in the eyes, beautiful, wise, century-old eyes, John had lived so many lives in his eyes.”

And some younger family members feel conflicted. I received a message from a reader that said, “I want to feel loyal to my aging mother, but don’t. The truth is she didn’t teach me loyalty. She was in fact, unloyal to my needs. How do I care for someone with love when I do not feel what others describe as the love they feel. I feel that I love her as she loved me, apathetic, dispassionate, but at the same time rational, reasonable. My mother lives in a nursing home, I visit sometimes, and I check in her care and her finances to make sure her needs are met. I just don’t know how to be so personal and meet the emotional needs of someone so estranged.”

This last sentiment I find interesting as a dialogue. I will ask Grandma Ellen to respond to this. Filial duty in some countries such as Asia, is not a fair exchange, it is a spiritual and family obligation. In other countries, the individual and the individual situation is considered. How do you as a reader answer this debate of tradition versus more contemporary views?

Good reading and blessings, Cat Wayland IF Editor

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