Dear Catherine and IF readers,

I’ve only just read the January 8 thoughts from the young reader and her
feelings toward her mother. So here is my answer.

To the IF Familymag reader who is feeling conflicted about not having
feelings of love toward her aged mother in a nursing home:

Do not beat up on yourself because you aren’t emotionally attached to your
mother. Mothers have to earn the love of their children. If they give
love, they get it in return. Yours didn’t. The responsibility you are
taking for your mother’s well-being in the nursing home is as much as can be
asked of you. I have an older sister who gave me only grief growing up, and
now wants my undying loyalty and affection. I am incapable of giving it to
her. I accept that in myself, as you should in relation to your mother. Do
the best you can for her. That, in fact, is what you are doing, and that is
all anyone can ask of you.

Grandma Ellen

Trackback URI | Comments RSS