Dear IF readers,

Life has ups and downs, and family life offers the highest highs and the lowest lows. In our family this week is someone who is suffering greatly. So much so, that she cried out in a way that landed her in the hospital on a five day certificate. She did not actually physically harm herself, but threatened to. Her depression has been nurtured alongside a lifetime of illness, handicap, and limitations. I cannot say that I understand her pain as that would be arrogant. I want to help so much but this week realized how individual each person’s journey is. As much as we love anyone, we cannot heal them, and this is one of the greatest pains I have found in family life, friendship and intimacy. I believe so much in the commitment of family, staying close and not running away or abandoning, but how close you can get to someone or how much space is between each of us, is a profound mystery to me.

This week, my husband and I were asked to stand still and not to run towards the epicenter of the pain, not to try and rescue. This was hard. This was not my instinct. Nor my second thought either. But I was not on the frontline and so I had to honor those who were. So I called each day, and sent flowers and said my prayers for support. And my stomach never rested and my sleep offered very little peace. And each day, I had my boys, my husband, my work and property to engage with some level of attention, nurturing and efficiency. And so this is family life in a down cycle, and we hold on until the storm is over. Right now we are in the eye of the storm, and so we stand still, keep as safe as we can, say prayers, hope and wait.

Good reading and blessings, Cat Wayland, cat@internationalfamilymag.com

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