Dear IF readers,

I am home from the airport after my weekend with Crystal. Although I celebrated her independent living apartment at a housewarming party when she left home, this was my first weekend at the adult Crystal’s new home with her as my host. She was a lovely host. I was used to seeing Crystal in her mother and father’s home. Here at Crystal’s apartment, she was the one cooking, cleaning and caring for the pets. It is heartwarming to see any child become an adult especially this dear cousin in her wheelchair.

Over the course of our three days together, we had great heart to heart chats. We also got our nails done, and shopped and had a great “girls” weekend. I asked alot of questions and listened. I tried not to prescribe much of anything except a little more protein in her diet. I can’t help it, I’m a mom, its a mom disease to analyze young people’s food intake. Usually I know this professional sympton and stop myself, but I didn’t this time (sorry!). But besides that I listened. And I heard, and learned a great life lesson. Once again, Crystal and her Spina Bifida reminded me of how the same rather than different she is from everyone.

Crystal’s depression and attempted suicide and hospitalization in the last three months came from the void her life had become. After leaving a job, she was struggling to decide what was next. Instead of making progress, her kidneys had given her trouble due to complications and she was hospitalized. Once out of the hospital, she had nothing on the horizon. Nothing. And that nothing and the idea that nothing could go on forever, depressed Crystal into a corner. Her next act was a way out of the corner. Lucky for her and all of us, her journey out of the corner landed her in the hospital rather than the morgue.

Crystal has the same needs as all of us. She needs to wake up and look forward to what’s next on the horizon. Next for Crystal is her work as Miss Wheelchair NY, the national competition for Miss Wheelchair over the summer and a trip in August. While I was there this weekend, her blood pressure was high and she needed to rest. But she was looking forward to what was next. And so am I. One day at a time. That is all we have. Today and each other. I am so honored that Crystal is my family and I can share life’s simple lessons with her. Crystal has once again taught me much. And I am grateful.

Good reading, Cat Wayland

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