Dear IF readers,

As we have settled into our New England weekend with my family, the reunions and get-togethers have been enlivening, inspiring, humbling, challenging and exhausting. Yesterday we were all over at my sister Pammy’s house for a barbecue, wiffle ball, and our homemade version of a rock concert. The children delight in each other, especially the younger ones Brody and Gigi (my sister’s youngest). My sister Pammy has the girls and I have the boys. We laugh all the time about my broken furniture and Pam’s tug of war with her oldest daughter. Always the debate, “are boys easier? are girls easier?” and then we just summarize, “They are all exhausting!”

Much fun was had. Gigi and Brody were the inspiration to all. They are 3 and 4, the same height, the same gold hair and talk a blue streak to one another that we cannot completely follow but they look like two journalists in a hot debate with hand gestures and nods, and squeals, and giggles. I have always enjoyed those two together and it will cause my sister and I to glance at one another at times and give one another a hug because at 13 months apart, we were once inseperable buddies.

My sister still calls me every morning at 7:30 a.m. to say hello and fill me in on her life and ask about mine. That being said, she is my big sister by 13 months and has taken those 13 months all the way to the bank and back. People comment on how demure and agreeable and understated I am around her. Family dynamics are amazing. I am very different away from my sister than I am with her. And yet, I enjoy the roles very much. With my sister I don’t make many decisions and to be honest I find that relieving. We went to Disney last year with both our families, she got tired, and for me it was the easiest vacation I have had in years. She was the boss, and that was fine with me.

Some of the relationships are not as fluid, and they are interesting and cause for growth. Pam is a efficient, organized, and would make a great second career in the army. Mom is sensitive, emotional and works only ever from the heart. These two need translators. My husband and my sister are both producers so they have a raucous teasing, “I am the boss” battle that is ongoing. But over the years, I have watched them employ great diplomacy and sports-talk - Pammy is a New England fan and Daddy is New York all the way.

Pammy’s husband Tommy and I are the creatives that get the band going and write song lyrics together. Our band name is “TomKat” and whenever things get too serious we run off to the basement with the children singing “In the Jungle” or whatever Springsteen tune we can remember the words to. We add humor and annoy everyone with our refusal to join conflicts or take sides. Tom and I are the great Sargeant Schulz from Hogan’s Heroes, “I see nothing, I hear nothing.”

Today my father comes to the beach with his wife Lorna and my stepsister Jessica. My stepbrother Chris is away for the weekend, but he is Jax’ godfather. Second family bonds can be really wonderful and really surreal. It is surreal to watch your father act like a totally different father and husband with a second wife. It is humbling to see the happiness and accept that the first marriage was not so good, and that was not in my hands to help or change.

The relationships with my step siblings has been a journey of discovery and joy. My stepsister Jessica helped me to illustrate a story when she was little and I was in my 20s and we have been creative sisters ever since. Jessica is the writer on Education Exchange and Travel for IF mag. And Christopher is earnest, and good, and smart and wonderful. He has been the most loving and smart role model for Jax.

Well, the boys are pouncing on my back which is painful as the air mattress although better than the floor, ain’t the Ritz.

Good reading and good road trips, blessings, Cat

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